Category Archives: Boston

Ends and Wands

Posted on by
Reply

It is a season of endings, and tonight, I had my very last session at the Berklee Film Scoring studio. It’s pretty much the closest I’ll get to ever going to Hogwarts because we use wands (batons). With any luck and divine providence I will get to keep doing this with my life.

I am feeling incredibly blessed, exhausted, and relieved after a massive project.

Huge shout out to my engineer Scott…That guy has gotten me through a large amount of projects in my Berklee career.

Now I am one step closer to admitting that I must pack up my entire house to move. Isn’t it easier just to throw all this stuff away?

#Denial

Cold, Orange Fury

Posted on by
1
I am above the law. 
I have to be. 

Apparently the City of Boston does not feel the same way. I have gotten more of these than I’d like to admit in the last couple months and, frankly, I’m not happy. The money these cost makes me mad, but what makes me more mad is the ghost-like hands that place them on my windshield. I have wild fantasies of running into a meter maid while she is trying to give me a ticket. I walk up to her and she instantly sees my character, and genuine ignorance of all parking laws, and instantly forgives all wrongs, gets on her knees, and presents me with a free to park anywhere I please sticker which never expires.  Continue reading →

The Glorious Summer: Epilogue

Posted on by
2
Buffalo, NY: Last day of the road trip back to Boston

My Berklee classes start tomorrow and thus ends the Glorious Summer Adventure that was this past 4 months. I have found myself wondering over and over how I get to live this life?
As sad as I am to say goodbye to my summer freedom, quiet contemplation time, and general state of being free, however, I am thrilled about my high level film scoring classes, and the incredible teams of people I get to collaborate with this year. Through jobs, and volunteering I find myself working with some of the most talented and competent people I’ve ever met.

I was just talking with Ryan tonight about what a blessing my communication degree, previous to Berklee, has been. I feel so equipped to shape organizations, teams, and projects from within, and effectively work with groups of professionals. What a privilege my education is. I am astounded that only 25% of American adults have a bachelor’s degree and I’m working on number 2. (maybe someday I’ll get to that master’s!)

I feel an overwhelming peace in the busyness.

I relish the rich work and friend relationships I am blessed with.

I am gearing up to write the best music I’ve ever written this year.

Last year as a Berklee student. 
Maybe my last year in Boston. 
Maybe my last year not being a parent. 

This year will be the end of things, and hopefully filled with the best of things.

Traffic

Posted on by
Reply
Highway Traffic

Traffic does strange things to humans. This summer spent in Los Angeles has given me a new appreciation for the open road, space, and air conditioning in my car. 

Traffic in Southern California is not like the traffic in South Florida I am used to. People here seem to be resigned to their fate of sitting in their car at 3-6 mph at some point in their journeys.
One day, I had to make an early morning/rush hour errand for work, and I just resigned myself to sitting in my car, drinking a venti Pike’s Place coffee, and listening to NPR, and it was actually enjoyable… it was me time. (This has been a side benefit of all the driving/traffic this summer… I am well versed in our nation’s news and budget/financial problems)


Drivers in Miami Dade and Broward will do ‘the dip’ and fake a forceful entrance into merge lanes just to make a space for their car. People here seem to drive with a solemn resignation to their traffic fate.


Downtown Traffic

I can’t say that I’ve liked the traffic here, but when you accept it, then it’s not unbearable.


Sitting in traffic has given me a lot of time to think and pray this summer about Ryan’s and my future. There’s a possibility we shall return here for him to pursue the rest of his education, and for me to nudge my way into the industry. 


Our decision right now lies between Boston and Los Angeles, or somewhere God has yet to reveal. I have never felt such peace and calm on the crux of a huge life decision. We won’t know for a few months, and I’m strangely ok with that. All this ‘okness’ I’ve strangely developed has caused me to live much more in the moment. I’ve enjoyed this summer to the fullest and squeezed every last drop out of California. I am anxious to return to Boston, see the seasons at least one more time, and be with our dear friends. (I also miss my goldfish)


Traffic in front of a Film Premiere

What does this year hold?


Finishing strong my last year at my incredible school.


Enjoying our friendships.


Serving our church and the body of Christ. 


Soaking up Boston and New England and appreciating its richness.


Relishing the end of a thing.


I will miss you Los Angeles. Maybe I’ll be back.

The end of a matter is better than its beginning,
   and patience is better than pride. 

Ecclesiasties 7:8

Best Friends Forever

Posted on by
1

After living in Boston for a little while now, I have started to realize the appeal that it has. It’s not a very large city and for this reason, one can know it quite intimately. Although I still discover new places and wonders all the time, it’s character and friendliness are always there. Even in the winter Boston stays alive. I realize that I am quite the inexperienced Bostonian having only lived here a little over a year, but there’s a quality from this place that sticks in my heart. 

I’m pretty sure we’ll be best friends forever.

This is a place I want to bring my kids to and visit often, even if only to go to Red Sox games. I can’t say that about every place I’ve lived. 

I will enjoy it while I have it and while Ryan and I are freer without little ones to run after; discovering new corners, new history, new restaurants and solidifying the fact that I will always feel at home when I’m in Boston. 

The Consciousness of the Call

Posted on by
1

Boston can be a dark place. I have been contemplating that lately as I still strive to adjust to my new hectic schedule. Soon it will become even darker as the weather changes and the winter becomes a stark picture of what was in our hearts already. My own thoughts creep in and I doubt myself, my work, my calling, my abilities. 

There was one of those cheesy youth group slogans I was told, “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.”
Now that I think of it, it might have been a Baptist saying…

Anyways

The mix of God’s call on my life and my natural gifting has birthed many strange thoughts and doubts in my mind. Especially since my pursuits have, as of late, been very costly and caused my family to sacrifice a lot.


I read Oswald today as he spoke of “The Consciousness of the Call”
“We are apt to forget the mystical, supernatural touch of God. If you can tell where you got the call of God and all about it, I question whether you have ever had a call. The call of God does not come like that, it is much more supernatural [...] He will bring not only your conscious life, but all the deeper regions of your life which you cannot get at, into harmony.” 

I’m a worrier and a doubter anyways. It’s what I constantly struggle and battle through. 
However, I love days like today, that seem just a little bit brighter, and I’m able to shake off some darkness in my heart as I read these verses. I also just randomly flipped here… probably not an accident. 

Isaiah 55:8
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 56:1
Thus says the Lord: Keep justice, and do righteousness, for My salvation is about to come, and My righteousness to be revealed. Blessed is the man who does this, and the son of man who lays hold on it; who keeps from defiling the Sabbath, and keeps his hand from doing any evil.

Wednesday Wanderings (mentally speaking)

Posted on by
1

Anniversary success #4
Today was filled with work and school, but we did eat at a restaurant that looked exactly like Gusteau’s from Ratatoille…. so basically our dinner was cooked by a rat. It was great.

I love my husband more every day. He is totally the man for me. I relish every moment of our adventure we’re on. We just finished watching our wedding/honeymoon videos and I felt transported back to that time. I got up to get something in the kitchen and I briefly felt as if I was in a strange place.
My mind goes to the past so quickly, yet Ryan’s hovers in the future. It tis a good balance I guess. 

I really miss my sister… a lot.
I haven’t seen her in 6 months. That’s a whole lot of time for anyone in my family to go without seeing each other. I’ve seen my brother a couple times, but Sara… no :( She is the happy to my sad and the up to my down.
Come back to me Sara 


Summer in Boston… crazy
Goes from 80′s to now it’s 56… I can’t believe I need a sweater in June


Later 
J
 

In the month of June

Posted on by
Reply

I apologize for the infrequency of my posting.

Ahem….

And I resume.

Here are some things happening in my world:

  •  Ryan and I are about to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary on Wednesday. (aaaawww) We went to the cape this weekend on a little getaway thanks to Ryan’s Mom (thanks Mom!) There was much revelry, romance, movie watching, and beaches. Here’s a little slice of our trip…

In other news…

  • School at Berklee is good. I am studying music theory constantly.
  • I’m working a newish job at my school where I am a media content assistant. I am doing fun things as well as getting the chance to learn some new software like photoshop, dreamweaver, and final cut.
  • I’m trying to strike the balance between being a great musician as a writer and a player/singer. I have been focusing so much on writing and learning the fundamentals in my classes that I am trying to swing the pendulum back toward practicing more, and playing more excellent.
  • The hole in my heart where worship leading once sat has been growing increasingly large lately. I still feel it is a part of my calling, and the longer I am at Berklee, the more I realize how important worship is. Music for no purpose, or selfish purposes is so fleeting.
  • I am trying to use this summer to get my large rear back in shape, so we’ll see how that pans out.

Bedtime…

Mental Musings

Posted on by
Reply

My thoughts on today and recent mental musings.

  • Breyers Reeses ice cream is too sweet and that’s saying something for me; miss sweet tooth.
  • It was way too hot today. I’m looking forward to having an ac in our window soon.
  • I so love the song How He Loves (by John Mark Mcmillan) and I am so glad they do it at our church now.
  • There was a spider on my arm on the subway today. I flicked it off onto another guys arm and I didn’t tell him :( I was too scared
  • I wish my phone would stop turning itself off.
  • I will be jumping for joy when Boston’s water is safe again so I can stop boiling all this freaking water!
  • I have so many finals this week and I’m nervous about some. I am praying and hoping I do well.
  • I can’t wait for my Florida trip in a week!

Nook

Posted on by
3
I
I’m in a contemplative mood today so it is quite convenient that I found this nook at my school’s Cafe 939. 
It is quite adorable and contemplativy.
I’m sitting here with my coffee, relieved that a huge project is turned in, and talking to my Dad on the phone. I think I’m genuinely one of those people who doesn’t take their families for granted. I might not talk to them as much as I should, but I sure know how blessed I am. I truly cannot believe I have them. Every moment with them is an extra blessing and there are so many who don’t have the same time or the same number of breaths…
I also spoke with my sister Sara about the song of hers I arranged for school (hence the turned in project). She wrote great lyrics and I rearranged the music. I love her so much. She is so grown up and loves the Lord so deeply. I feel as the older I get, the more I learn from  her than she from me. The roles of childhood are so often reversed. My little brother Corey is a giant man now who beats me up and bosses me around, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 
So I settle into my new roles in the family as we all are in the morning of our adulthood. The distance is excruciating, but the love is increasing. At least for me it is. 
I go home in a few short days. I’ll miss Sara, but I’ll see the rest of them including the giant puppies who I also deeply miss…. even the stupid cat.
Drew will make me giant lattes
Katie Bug and I will do a beach trip
and I’m sure there will be many other shenanigans and late nights…

Worry

Posted on by
1

Ok So I’ve written about this before, but as it seems to be a recurring theme in my life, here it goes…
Being a full time student again, and being married to one, has been an interesting financial transition to say the least. God continues to provide in very unique ways, and yet I still resist trusting Him fully. 
I remember living off of two full time incomes and buying those little things…. you know things that cost like 10 or 15 bucks. It was not big deal. Now I have to prioritize every little thing and wait a long time, with reluctant patience to purchase those random needed items that pile up on their never ending list. 
The word ‘need’ has definitely been redefined in my life, and why not? Why should I feel entitled when people not even that far away from me in other cultures are content to work and feed their families and might never own a car. And I should be grateful. Without intending to sound as someone solely focused on social justice, let me say that there are those that die every day from hunger and disease.
It is my pride that wants to save face and live the same lifestyle as I did before. I don’t want to admit I need something, or that I need help. I’m still richer than the majority of the world. I’m typing this on a nice computer, I have food in my house, I get to go to a great school…

I need a way to finally shake off the irrational worry and anxiety about tomorrow and the future. I only prove continually to myself that I do not trust the promises of God. He’s just waiting for me to give up on my petty human reason. 

Matthew 6:25-34
 25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
 28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
 31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
 34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Guilt Free

Posted on by
1

I arrived safely in Boston this morning after my brief trip to the motherland (South Florida). It was good to go home. My mom flew me down and for that I was quite grateful. 
I saw a few people, but mostly spent quality time with my family and really close friends. 

I guess I feel like I’m learning how to not make myself feel guilty for things. A couple people mentioned the fact that they didn’t see me this past week, and frankly I’m ok with that. 
My husband will tell you that I have a problem worrying about what people think and making myself feel terrible for things that I can’t fix. 
It was good to rest and just see my family and close friends. 

On another note, I have had some great thinking time this past week being off from school and in a different environment. I’m sure I’ll be formulating some more cohesive ideas in the near future.
I feel that God continues to mature and grow me. I am trying to keep my heart and head quiet and still enough to hear what He is trying to say.

The Charles River

Posted on by
1

I was on my way to rehearsal today for church this Sunday and I saw this while riding the red line today. It’s the view from the other side of the Charles River from the Cambridge side. My school is right next to where the big Prudential building is.
I’ve seen it before, but today it was especially beautiful. It’s starting to look like spring and it feels like it too. 
I was thinking today, I live in freaking Boston! How did that happen? How do I live in such a giant city?
Wow… God is good and keeps surprising me with things I secretly have wanted for very long. Two things that spring to mind are that I’ve always wanted to live in a big, exciting city for a season, and I’ve always wanted to play in an orchestra… Both seemed way far off, but here I am…

Birthday Blog: version 23

Posted on by
1

Sara Bost is a great sister… She sent me a wonderful birthday letter last week and written on it were some verses, my favorite of which I will show you:

Isaiah 17:7-13

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD
And whose hope is ithe LORD
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked;
Who can know it?
I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind,
Even to give every man according to his ways,
According to the fruit of his doings.

As a partridge that broods but does not hatch, so is he who gets riches but not by right;
It will leave him in the midst of his days and at his end he will be a fool.

A glorious high throne from the beginning is the place of our sanctuary.
O LORD, the hope of Israel all who forsake You shall be ashamed.
Those who depart from Me shall be written in the earth because they have forsaken the Lord the fountain of living waters.

I love when the word just sets my heart right. It is so rich and so deep.

So I had a good 23rd birthday. Ryan took me to Blue Man Group which was so good! and then we went to a fun restaurant. It snowed a little in the morning. I am officially getting more gray hairs…. it’s cool though. I think I’ll start to look more distinguished.


The Wolfpack

Posted on by
2


Here are our new goldfish. We can’t have furry pets (also they’re too much work) so here’s our 3 fish.
We call them the Wolfpack in reference to the movie the Hangover. They have names of characters like Doug, Dr. F, and Fat Jesus.

On a side note, if you haven’t seen that movie, immediately go and rent it and watch it and love it.

In other Ryan and Jessica life thoughs:

It’s going to snow tomorrow which is pretty great.

Ryan and I are starting to form closer friendships from our church and school.

I am starting a night with some school friends where we will work our way through all the films that have won best original score so we can study the music.

Ryan Collman and Lauren Bayse (who are soon to be wed) visited us this week which was so awesome. It was great to show them around the city.

I am singing for the first time at our church next weekend which I’m excited about.

Orchestra practices are going very well so far as we work our way toward an April performance.

This semester is very thick and full of theory, thus I am struggling to muster up as much excitement as last semester. It is still needed though.

That’s all for now.

My Story Book

Posted on by
2


Ryan made a comment today about feeling like going back to Boston is like jumping back into a story book after you put it down. I so feel that way! It’s like when you’re a kid and you make believe for hours or you half wake up from a great dream and so wish you can jump back in when you fall asleep and it only works half the time. Living there overall really does feel like an adventure. It isn’t fun all the time and I struggle with worry, but if I knew the answers it wouldn’t be our story. People in the movies or books never knew what happened next…

Oh what a great month this has been. My batteries are charged. I still worked but time with our peeps was fabulous.

On a similar note, Ryan wrote me a sweet song for Christmas that I am trying to figure out how to post so people can hear. It is so special and all about doing our adventure together and having no idea what comes next, but having each other. It’s terrific.

Ok so everyone go to sleep tonight and have one of those dreams …

the epic ones where you’re the hero and fight off bad guys and someone falls in love with you…

and also where animals can talk and chocolate is a vegetable…

and you happen to be fabulously wealthy…

life update

Posted on by
Reply

This is an overdue post… I keep trying to feel inspired before I write anything, but I just need to get thoughts up more often, whether they’re good or not.
I have managed my way through half a semester at Berklee in which I have already learned so much.
It is hard when you think you’re relatively good at something and abruptly realize this is not the case. I feel so much growth which is great. I’m excited to see where this education takes me. I know continually that this is where I’m supposed to be.
That being said it is a hard thing scraping together enough faith to keep going. Ryan has been working, but I have yet to find steady income.
God keeps whispering His promises to me and I keep leaning on them daily. Sometimes it’s week to week, day to day, and sometimes I need reminders of His love and care like every five minutes.
What a start to an amazing journey.
We miss everyone so much. Some days are lonely but it’s perfecting at the same time. Our relationship has grown so much in our adventure together.
I don’t regret it. I just try to look forward and onward, sit in God’s lap and let him fight my battles.

It’s Ryan’s 25th birthday tomorrow yay!
We come home soon for Katie and Donovan’s wedding; exciting stuff…