Ryan and I, along with our friend Ransom are the new leaders of the newly formed Berklee Campus community group. We have our first meeting this Thursday at Pavement Coffee House. I’m looking forward to getting back into some serious ministry, discipleship, and new friendships. If you’ve stumbled upon this, and want to be a part, then click here.
On another front it seems, at least I hope, that I’m back on the upswing with blogging. It logically would seem the opposite, that I would blog more over the summer with more time, but with so much going on, I just have so much to say!
Here are our new goldfish. We can’t have furry pets (also they’re too much work) so here’s our 3 fish. We call them the Wolfpack in reference to the movie the Hangover. They have names of characters like Doug, Dr. F, and Fat Jesus.
On a side note, if you haven’t seen that movie, immediately go and rent it and watch it and love it.
In other Ryan and Jessica life thoughs:
It’s going to snow tomorrow which is pretty great.
Ryan and I are starting to form closer friendships from our church and school.
I am starting a night with some school friends where we will work our way through all the films that have won best original score so we can study the music.
Ryan Collman and Lauren Bayse (who are soon to be wed) visited us this week which was so awesome. It was great to show them around the city.
I am singing for the first time at our church next weekend which I’m excited about.
Orchestra practices are going very well so far as we work our way toward an April performance.
This semester is very thick and full of theory, thus I am struggling to muster up as much excitement as last semester. It is still needed though.
So my chronic problem of comparing myself to others has morphed into a different sort.
Dang it I thought i was rid of this embarrassing problem.
Now that I am a part of this music school filled with many talented people, I see what they are doing and feel, I don’t know if this is the right way to put it, but left out. I see a lot of my new friends/acquaintances/classmates gigging a lot and getting involved in sweet ensembles and such. I need to keep reminding myself (also why I am writing this so I can continue to convince myself) that I am here with specific goals that are not going to manifest themselves immediately or even when I’m here. Film scoring is something I think will take the rest of my life or until God tells me to do something else. I’m not here to become a recording artist.
I’m weirded out by the whole performance thing though. Playing in churches for so long is so different from ‘performing.’ I’m finding that I have a lot to work on in that area and thus am not going to be as prepared for it nor should I be, because again it’s not my goal. I’m referring to singing and guitar because I have been playing a lot of cello lately which has been really cool. My wise peer adviser Karim gave me advice about comparing myself to the people at Berklee. I just need to let it drive me forward and not hold me back. It’s like this strange vice that holds me and has, in some form, always held me. And honestly it is good sometimes. I would be a slacker and mediocre otherwise.
Today I visited a church that is thinking about hiring me to do their youth worship.
I know, I know….
I don’t believe it either.
It seems this is where God might be leading though. The cool thing is it is different than any ministry I’ve been a part of. It’s an African Methodist Episcopal church. It is very cool and very different. I went to their Sunday service today and I really liked it. The people are much more inclusive and welcoming. Their music was cool and the whole vibe was really great. It’s definitely much different than I’m used to, and If I end up being hired then I will have some unique challenges musically and culturally, but that might be part of why God has this for me. I’m still figuring everything out (which may never happen) but in the meantime, Just one day and week at a time and trusting God along the way. Just another day in this crazy journey.
I had a couple epiphanies, cried a bunch, worshiped my brains out… you know the usual.
I was challenged as he was playing that I limit myself to my box. Not the box of youth worship, or even certain songs. I limit myself to playing like a modern worship leader always. Man the things Phil did with his guitar and the boldness of how he sang and the words he sang and yet it was so congregational at the same time. He strikes a better balance than me and I want to strive for that. I’m not going to try to be exactly like him, but I did take a lot from last night that will be running around my brain for a while.
I love new things to ponder and pray. Lord remove the frame I keep around myself that I know you never put there…