Ok So I’ve written about this before, but as it seems to be a recurring theme in my life, here it goes…
Being a full time student again, and being married to one, has been an interesting financial transition to say the least. God continues to provide in very unique ways, and yet I still resist trusting Him fully.
I remember living off of two full time incomes and buying those little things…. you know things that cost like 10 or 15 bucks. It was not big deal. Now I have to prioritize every little thing and wait a long time, with reluctant patience to purchase those random needed items that pile up on their never ending list.
The word ‘need’ has definitely been redefined in my life, and why not? Why should I feel entitled when people not even that far away from me in other cultures are content to work and feed their families and might never own a car. And I should be grateful. Without intending to sound as someone solely focused on social justice, let me say that there are those that die every day from hunger and disease.
It is my pride that wants to save face and live the same lifestyle as I did before. I don’t want to admit I need something, or that I need help. I’m still richer than the majority of the world. I’m typing this on a nice computer, I have food in my house, I get to go to a great school…
I need a way to finally shake off the irrational worry and anxiety about tomorrow and the future. I only prove continually to myself that I do not trust the promises of God. He’s just waiting for me to give up on my petty human reason.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Tonight I took a pause over this picture taken last month. There is a special ache felt only from missing those from the same womb.
