Sunday Soundtracking: Donnie Darko

Sunday Soundtracking is a weekly look at what I’m listening to from the film, television, and video game score world. It’s my effort to keep myself well educated in my craft, explore things that are new, and re-explore some favorites. There is more than a lifetime of score work for me to investigate. Here’s to making a dent in the list!Donnie Darko is one of those films I never would have seen if someone hadn’t sat me down and watched it with me. The time travel/drama/science fiction film from 2001 is unique. If you haven’t seen it I suggest watching the directors cut to better follow what’s going on (or at least make a visit to the Wikepedia page after viewing). This little film is one part disturbing, one part intriguing, and it makes almost no effort to keep the audience informed about what’s going on. The time travel aspect of this film is confusing, but it makes you feel like you want to join this secret, elusive club. So you keep watching, enraptured, and enter this cerebral, dark world. It feels like a mystery really.

Carpathian Ridge

Listen to
Continue reading

Sunday Soundtracking: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Sunday Soundtracking is a weekly look at what I’m listening to from the film, television, and video game score world. It’s my effort to keep myself well educated in my craft and explore things that are new and re-explore some favorites. As a film composer there is more than a lifetime of score work for me to explore. Here’s to making a dent in the list!

I’m kicking off my first Sunday Soundtracking with one of my favorite scores. It’s one that’s stuck with me ever since I heard it. I have to admit that I’m always partial to anything Harry Potter, but after exploring this soundtrack, for what is probably several dozen hours, I’ve determined that it stands on its own as a masterpiece and one of the best scores I’ve heard in recent years. Continue reading

Do Tough Ladies Wear Nail Polish?

Was it that long ago that I finished Berklee? When was the last time I painted my nails? Who is hosting Saturday Night Live this week? Oh…. I missed the last 2?

All the little things that have been added to my life working in the film scoring world in LA have changed so many little things I used to take for granted. I don’t remember the last time I got my hair cut, and am still not sure that is going to happen in the near future.

As all of the realities of my new life in LA and working in film scoring crash around me. I have been forced to search for a new normal in a life yet unknown to me. I thought I knew what I was getting into… I spent all this money on a top education… What if I made a mistake?

Then I go to a giant scoring session… Continue reading

Urban Camping

It is quite possible to live without the trappings of our material life I tell myself while sitting on a lawn chair in our dining room. It’s been warm in the Los Angeles area as the last dregs of summer seep away. The shorts I wear as a result cause tiny squares from the chair mesh to form on my skin. It is these such tiny annoyances that remind me of my humanity. Some of life’s most profound truth makes its way slowly back through the monotony and inconvenience. I will always be brought back to this week when I have a skin indentation from a chair. Continue reading

Ends and Wands

It is a season of endings, and tonight, I had my very last session at the Berklee Film Scoring studio. It’s pretty much the closest I’ll get to ever going to Hogwarts because we use wands (batons). With any luck and divine providence I will get to keep doing this with my life.

I am feeling incredibly blessed, exhausted, and relieved after a massive project.

Huge shout out to my engineer Scott…That guy has gotten me through a large amount of projects in my Berklee career.

Now I am one step closer to admitting that I must pack up my entire house to move. Isn’t it easier just to throw all this stuff away?

#Denial

Red Shoes and Cement Floors: A Graduation Contemplation

I love remembering the small details of large events

I clutched my grande Starbucks coffee and arrived, needlessly, at 7AM. I laughed to myself, knowing this would happen. The perpetual punctual lady had found herself, yet again, in the throws of Berklee’s administration [de]organization. By this point that aspect of Berklee had become endearing to me, and I just sat in my robe and absorbed my caffeine with contentment.

The best way I’ve found, recently, to describe my last 3 years of Berklee is that it taught me things I didn’t know I needed to learn. In that way it made me a new and different person. I hadn’t known before what to study, learn, or do. What was before just a whisper has now become a full fledged burning passion. I just knew what I loved and that was the entry point. Berklee taught me how to participate in what I love in an unparalleled way. It was so strange to stand and wait on that cement floor with my dear friends and film scoring compatriots. Anything would have felt strange because I never expected how I would feel. Continue reading

Bravery: Soaking Wet

As I was walking briskly through the rain today in my incredibly inadequate shoes, with no umbrella, I found myself feeling incredibly grateful for the warmth and comfort 99% of the time. I could not wait to walk through the lobby of my office building and shake off the city chill and the misty rain. Today’s weather adventures brought to mind a topic I have had many late night discussions about, read many articles about, and pondered often.

The lack of things highlights when we have them. Continue reading

It’s a Start

It’s a Start

Well, here I am…. Drowning in technology and failing at using it. The difference between this semester and previous ones is that I’m actually enjoying my work and projects. I definitely enjoyed projects before, but now, even through the frustration there is a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment in what I’m producing. 

I look forward to having more to show after this season. I am in the throws of film scoring, and video game scoring. Both are requiring me to up my game in using technology. My meager studio setup is much more functional than before, which helps, but there is the never ending list of things to buy to add to it. It’s easy to get carried away with my wish list. 
There is a fine balance between working on the technology and working on my compositional skill. Sometimes they go together, and other times they are at serious odds.

Classes are riveting, and at least once a week I pinch myself. 
Last week I found myself hanging out with George S. Clinton, film composer, in my seminar class. He was so incredibly nice, helpful, and insightful. I learned an immense amount from him in a short hour class.

George S. Clinton & myself in class
Ok. 

I’m going back to writing music now…

Remote Control: Business, Film Scores, and Great Interior Decorating

Hans Zimmer is the king of film scoring.

In the current industry climate he has made his way up to the top with his amazing electronic music skills and savvy business sense. 

He owns and operates Remote Control Productions, where, in my adventures as a Berklee LA Intern, I recently had the privilege of visiting.

Remote Control, I learned in detail, has several ‘rooms’ (studios) which up and coming, and established composers are invited to rent from Hans. They essentially are free to work on their own projects, but often collaborate and write additional music on Hans’ scores. Mr. Zimmer has jump started the career of many a successful film composer this way. Hans no longer scores to picture. He writes the themes and lets his team do the rest.

This brings me to the point that most people criticize him for, ghost writing.
As our gracious host, and tour guide for the evening, Geoff Zanelli, said, It’s not ghost writing if you get credit and a generous portion of royalties. Ghost writing is anonymous (hence the implication of the word ghost).

Geoff, a Berklee grad, worked his way up at Remote Control and now employs an assistant himself, and boasts a respectable list of film credits for a man his age.  

I was surprised by his enthusiasm for Hans’ business model. His description of his experience differed from what I heard around the business. 


Not everybody appreciates Mr. Zimmer and his status as one of Hollywood’s elite:

  • A former colleague at Berklee, who’s father is a film composer mentioned in passing how low people view Hans’ business practices. 
  • I ran into a film composer at a party out here in LA who mentioned his experience with a similar model, and his distaste for it.
  • In general, my sense of industry opinion (even out in LA) has been that Hans is more of a business man than a composer. 

A friend asked me recently if given the opportunity, would I work at Remote Control? I answered yes, but in light of recent events, I would now answer, unequivocally, yes.  
I learned through more detail and nuanced description how the royalty of film scoring is not perfect. Even Geoff mentioned how Hans does not read music, and cannot play some of the instruments he keeps in his own studio.  


It still is the place that major $300 million budget films go for music. 
The business model is brilliant.

People all have different opinions about Hans and Remote Control, but now I will base mine on having seen it up close.  


As I look back, it will be one of the highlights of my summer. 
Will I ever be involved in projects of such magnitude and prestige? 


Who knows?


For now, I leave you to feast your eyes on these… Hans’ own personal studio.

Something huh?

Sigh…

The following things are standing in the way of me and my 2 week break which will consist of family, Florida, sun, movie watching, light work, old friends, and giant dogs…

  • 8 minutes out of a 20 minute film left to score
  • Counterpoint project
  • Counterpoint final
  • Arranging project
  • Arranging final
  • Harmony Project
  • Harmony Final
  • Ear Training Final
  • Vocal Proficiency
  • Tonal Harmony Project
  • Tonal Harmony Final

*Sigh*

The neverending list

I am in the middle of many final projects, scoring a film, starting a new job, trying (and failing) to get back in shape, and seeing Ryan every now and then… and why am I blogging?

I don’t know, maybe so you won’t stop reading?
Maybe I just can’t get certain thoughts out any other way.

First day on the job at Berklee City Music today and it has been going well so far.  I am the media content assistant which consists of many things all involving the internet :0]
If you’re interested in what Berklee City Music is, check out the website here.


I am a water drinking failure… In every way. There have been at least two days this week when I looked back and realized I had not drank a drop of water. 


Fail.

Also I am an exercise failure… I had a whole plan to implement and now I feel it falling apart.
Losing this last 10-12 pounds is seeming like an impossible goal.
Pilates and running should not be that difficult, but for my lazy bones apparently it is.
I’ll get back on the bandwagon and try again.
It’s not even the weight on the scale that is my frustration, it’s just that weird ”my jeans don’t fit correctly” feeling.

Berklee Thoughts…

I’m clipping my nails short and getting ready for orchestra rehearsal tonight. My orchestra, Berklee Contemporary Symphony Orchestra, is playing its spring concert a week from today. I am getting excited. Being in an orchestra, to me, is still a privilege.

In other Jessica Berklee thoughts….

I applied for the Berklee achievement scholarship last week and am waiting to hear back from them. I had to compile a large portfolio to show them what I have accomplished since being a student. It was a lot of work and I hope it pays off. 

I am entering the home stretch of this semester with only 4 weeks of regular classes left. I will be stressed, but its the stress of trying to finish well. This semester has been particularly arduous taking classes like counterpoint and tonal harmony on top of all my regular theory type classes. I know it will get harder later, but at that point I will have mastered the idea of these subjects. The hardest part for me is that I’ve never done them before. I am learning a lot and there’s no place I’d rather be. 

I also recently, officially declared myself a film scoring major… I’m excited to see what the future holds. 

On a closing note, Boston is so beautiful in the springtime…

Coffee Thoughts

I am lounging on my couch.
It’s 42 degrees outside which means it is warming up.
I watch my fishes swim in their bowl on the table as I drink my coffee out of a special mug that makes me think of my sister Sara.
As I peruse my computer’s modest sound libraries looking for ideas for my friend Paul’s film, I am wondering how I ever arrived at doing so many wonderful things.

Am I really scoring a short film?
Do I really play in an orchestra?
Did I really just play on 5 student film scoring cues in the last couple of weeks?
Do I really get to go see Craig Ferguson with Katie-Bug next week in Florida?
Why do I get to be married to someone who is so good to me?
How have we kept 2 fish alive for this long?


All things that have graced my thoughts in the last hour. 
Ryan is coming home… later

I never change…

So my chronic problem of comparing myself to others has morphed into a different sort.

Dang it I thought i was rid of this embarrassing problem.

Now that I am a part of this music school filled with many talented people, I see what they are doing and feel, I don’t know if this is the right way to put it, but left out.
I see a lot of my new friends/acquaintances/classmates gigging a lot and getting involved in sweet ensembles and such. I need to keep reminding myself (also why I am writing this so I can continue to convince myself) that I am here with specific goals that are not going to manifest themselves immediately or even when I’m here.
Film scoring is something I think will take the rest of my life or until God tells me to do something else. I’m not here to become a recording artist.

I’m weirded out by the whole performance thing though. Playing in churches for so long is so different from ‘performing.’ I’m finding that I have a lot to work on in that area and thus am not going to be as prepared for it nor should I be, because again it’s not my goal. I’m referring to singing and guitar because I have been playing a lot of cello lately which has been really cool.
My wise peer adviser Karim gave me advice about comparing myself to the people at Berklee. I just need to let it drive me forward and not hold me back. It’s like this strange vice that holds me and has, in some form, always held me. And honestly it is good sometimes. I would be a slacker and mediocre otherwise.

One Week Down, Fifteen to Go


I successfully finished my first week as a Berklee student. I have 8 classes and like 7 out of 8 of my teachers. I guess it can’t all be perfect.

My classes are:

Writing Skills
Harmony 1
Ear Training 1

Beginning Improv for the Singer

Jazz/Blues vocal styles lab

Private Vocal Lesson

Berklee Contemporary Symphony Orchestra

Intro to Film Scoring


So needless to say, I am having a great time so far. Of course some of the classes are tedious and will continue to get harder, but I feel encouraged because everything I’m doing is useful and something I can apply to my musical future. I feel blessed.

In other news, Ryan was hired by Sylvan Learning Center as a private tutor so that’s awesome. I’m still looking for a job myself and we’re still trusting that the Lord will continue to provide all our needs like He always does. He is always faithful.

It’s so much fun living such an adventure.

First Day of School

First day of Berklee classes went well today.
Some are way fun and some will be lots of work.
I played in an orchestra for the first time tonight which was insane. I had so much fun and it was so hard. I have so much to practice. Getting to and from our practice place is pretty hilarious; me wheeling my huge cello around and on the T. It’s an adventure.
I love my vocal teacher who will be giving me lessons. She is very relate-able and I think I can learn a lot from her.
I tested out of the intro Technology class which is legit. It’s basically like getting 2 free credits. So tomorrow I’m off to talk to the film scoring dept to see if I can fill those 2 credits with one of my first film scoring classes… yay
We continue to ask for your prayers for jobs. We know God will provide. A few possibilities are open to us….
I feel like a sponge soaking up all this knowledge.

The Soloist Review


The Soloist. How I have been anticipating this film. I was first drawn in by the preview and the cello playing. We went on Friday night and I was not disappointed.

The Soloist centers around the daily life of a newspaper reporter in Los Angeles, Steve Lopez. Steve encounters a homeless, schizophrenic, street musician, Nathaniel Ayers, and through a series of experiences with him becomes friends and both change because of it. (I won’t reveal any more of the plot)

Camera shots = very good. There were some artsy fancy shots in there, but it wasn’t the entire movie so you didn’t feel like you were watching super indie, artsy flick. I loved the close ups on the side characters. My interest was peaked at these characters. The director gave you just enough so you wondered about their life, but you never knew them beyond their screen time. Some very funny moments with them as well.
Music = splendid. Of course the music was going to be good. There were great renditions of some really famous pieces by classic composers. The visualizations of the music really brought it to life. I especially like the scene where the orchestra is playing a Beethoven piece and the film keeps cutting to this scene of two doves flying about the city.
The director wisely chose Dario Marionelli (Pride and Prejudice, Atonement), the master of writing original scores that sound old, for this film. His music seamlessly wove into the classic pieces to form a more solid movie score. Brilliant. I love him.

See this movie.

It feels like sitting on the beach with a Slurpee or curling up on a leather couch in flannel pajamas. It reminded me of when feathers leak out of my throw pillows and I play with them in my hand, or when the moon is huge and orange.

It’s the little things… it’s the little things.

My Real Life Goals

A while back I made a list in this post of some rather lighthearted goals I want to accomplish.
Here are some more serious ones as promised:

  1. Lose any apprehension I have about sharing Jesus
  2. Adopt a child
  3. Score a major motion picture
  4. Love Ryan more every year than I did the last
  5. Give away at least 50% of my income to people who really need it
  6. Play the cello in an orchestra