This has been one of the most difficult seasons of my life. The end of the fall colors into the colder temperature marks the point where the light at the end shines a bit brighter while the light outside shines dimmer. This semester feels like I just finished running two simultaneous marathons. I don’t even know how I’m a person right now. I’m not even done yet, but I’m feeling like I’ll be able to muster the strength for the last push of finals, proficiencies, music memorization, recordings, and being generally tested on many forms of performance. It’s a pressure I’ve become strangely used to and also strangely appreciate for its benefit.
When I complain again could someone please sit me down and remind me of these few months and tell me how good I have it? God bless Ryan for carrying me, and God bless it being Christmas time! My favorite time will only bring added joy.
The welcome distraction of visitors over the last few weeks has been great, and as we get ready to say goodbye to Mark and Noelle tomorrow, I’m ready to buckle down.
I’ll see you on the other side…. that is, if I make it.
In one week I will have begun my first day of the new fall semester. I am looking forward and yet bracing myself for what should be one of the busiest seasons of my life.
I reflect on this summer and realize that I haven’t done all the things I said I would do, but Ryan and I have had the summer of our lives. I’ll take the good with the bad.
On the note of not following through…
I am trying to move into a season of life where I finish what I start, do more or less of something when I say I will, and overall being more faithful to myself. I let myself down and am not consistently disciplined.
I’ve wrote and thought about this a lot before, but this time I’m trying to attack the root of the problem. I’m realizing that it has to start with the Spiritual Disciplines. Staying in the Word, Fasting, and Actively engaging in community even when it’s uncomfortable. Every time I try to get in shape, practice / write music more, or even something silly like keep up with my photo albums, I fail miserably because I’m not grounded and disciplined enough in the ever important love relationship with my God.
So here’s to finishing what I start, using my gifts, serving others, being wise, and longing for eternity.
I’ll let you know how it goes…
Here are our new goldfish. We can’t have furry pets (also they’re too much work) so here’s our 3 fish.
We call them the Wolfpack in reference to the movie the Hangover. They have names of characters like Doug, Dr. F, and Fat Jesus.
On a side note, if you haven’t seen that movie, immediately go and rent it and watch it and love it.
In other Ryan and Jessica life thoughs:
It’s going to snow tomorrow which is pretty great.
Ryan and I are starting to form closer friendships from our church and school.
I am starting a night with some school friends where we will work our way through all the films that have won best original score so we can study the music.
Ryan Collman and Lauren Bayse (who are soon to be wed) visited us this week which was so awesome. It was great to show them around the city.
I am singing for the first time at our church next weekend which I’m excited about.
Orchestra practices are going very well so far as we work our way toward an April performance.
This semester is very thick and full of theory, thus I am struggling to muster up as much excitement as last semester. It is still needed though.
That’s all for now.
I am a mental slave to my own self. All the worry and stress I am just simply done with. Our financial situation has been precarious for some time but so what? It’s just numbers on someone’s balance sheet. My worth is not in this world.
I have one week left in Florida before returning to Beantown and I really can see the changes in our life as I look back at the last three weeks.
I just don’t care to see people as much anymore because time is so precious. I want to see the ones I really care deeply about; the friends and family who I know will continue to be in my life even though I live 2,000 miles away.
I miss the things and even the close relationships that have changed… people are growing up, starting new schools and jobs, getting married, and don’t like to reminisce as much as I do… alas the movement of life is too forward for me at times.
One good thing is that we’ll be having some loved ones visit us up north very soon. Memories shall be made and fun will be had.
I know I’m where I’m supposed to be and I know God will provide like always… Enough worry.
I’m just going to start punching my worry in the face.
The last couple weeks have been very interesting indeed. I was looking forward to a busy week at school, mom coming, and my concert followed by a trip to Florida when Dad showed up and surprised me in Boston. It was a great couple days.
Mom visited, I played in the Berklee Contemporary Symphony Orchestra concert (pictured below) which was one of the best musical experiences I have had so far. I really am looking forward to orchestra again in the spring.
I began to come down with a cough and slight fever that night and the sickness took over after that. I panicked because I was supposed to sing and give the speech at Katie Bug’s wedding. I went to Florida and felt like death. It was strep throat. Thanks to some antibiotics and strong steroids I could sing about 80% which is better than none :]
And Donovan and Katie are married! What a beautiful day. I cried my share as did most involved. What a privilege to share in such a beautiful, romantic day. I love you Bug.
There are some days that I just feel like the honey that’s in the bottom of the plastic squeezy bear that takes so long to drip through the squirt cap.
That’s definitely today.